Birth Order Humor

A friend sent this to me today, and I just had to share it. I have three children and can attest to the veracity of several points. Enjoy.
Tracey

For those of you having your first child, this may seem a bit unreal to you. However, if you are having your second or third child, we think you'll relate very well! Here are some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes
First baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
Second baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
Third baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name
First baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
Second baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
Third baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!

The Layette
First baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
Second baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
Third baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries
First baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.
Second baby: You pick the baby up when their wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
Third baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Activities
First baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
Second baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
Third baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out
First baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
Second baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
Third baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home
First baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
Second baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
Third baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Emergency
First baby: When the first child swallows a quarter, you take them to the emergency room.
Second baby: When the second child swallows a quarter, you wait for it to pass.
Third baby: When the third child swallows a quarter, you take it out of their allowance.